Saturday, March 24, 2012
Toying Around With A Deferential Super PAC
WASHINGTON - A new Super PAC, The Uncle Tom Foundation, is selling a political adult toy to raise money in support of designated national Democratic candidates. Called an electronic Retch-A-Sketch, the device shows portraits of all past and present Republican presidential candidates who entered the 2012 presidential primary.
The Retch-A-Sketch allows the player to alter the facial characteristics of the candidates from lengthening of the nose to making the lips move to say “no new taxes.” There are also choices of general facial expressions from solemn to satanic or confused to retarded.
The player may also wipe out a candidate and start over. Ears, eyes, noses and mouths may be switched around to create an ideal president. A favorite combination includes a hear-no-evil pair of Gingrich ears, an angelic pair of Santorum eyes, a Pinocchio-style Romney nose, and an extra-large Palin mouth.
Another option is to place a white hood over the candidate’s head or a jester’s hat on his or her crown.
The device plays a variety of musical backgrounds including I Wish I Was In Dixie, Running With Jesus, and If I Only Had A Brain from the Wizard of Oz.
The Uncle Tom Foundation with its Oreo Cookie logo was created to help shuffle respectful, low-key Democrats into Congress and the White House. Candidates need to show deference to White Christian Americans and lower their eyes when approaching them in order to be eligible for the Foundation’s support.
The Retch-A-Sketch is on sale for $29.98 plus tax and shipping, batteries not included. Members of the NRA, KKK, and neighborhood watch organizations are eligible for a 10% discount.
The Retch-A-Sketch allows the player to alter the facial characteristics of the candidates from lengthening of the nose to making the lips move to say “no new taxes.” There are also choices of general facial expressions from solemn to satanic or confused to retarded.
The player may also wipe out a candidate and start over. Ears, eyes, noses and mouths may be switched around to create an ideal president. A favorite combination includes a hear-no-evil pair of Gingrich ears, an angelic pair of Santorum eyes, a Pinocchio-style Romney nose, and an extra-large Palin mouth.
Another option is to place a white hood over the candidate’s head or a jester’s hat on his or her crown.
The device plays a variety of musical backgrounds including I Wish I Was In Dixie, Running With Jesus, and If I Only Had A Brain from the Wizard of Oz.
The Uncle Tom Foundation with its Oreo Cookie logo was created to help shuffle respectful, low-key Democrats into Congress and the White House. Candidates need to show deference to White Christian Americans and lower their eyes when approaching them in order to be eligible for the Foundation’s support.
The Retch-A-Sketch is on sale for $29.98 plus tax and shipping, batteries not included. Members of the NRA, KKK, and neighborhood watch organizations are eligible for a 10% discount.
