Sunday, August 28, 2011
Obama Announces A Domestic War Agenda
WASHINGTON DC - President Obama has declared war on the Republican Party. “I will no longer attempt to be a facilitator between Democrats and Republicans,” he announced. “It is time for the hypocrites and bold-faced liars to be exposed by this administration,” he added.
The President stated, in no uncertain terms, that the Republican Party is only interested in grabbing power so they can turn back the clock on the American way of life. “The Republican agenda is to allow the rich to get richer, the poor to stay where they are, and the middle class to fend for themselves as best they can,” he argued.
Obama characterized the Tea Party as a gaggle of uneducated adolescents who want the right to do whatever they please without a parent or government setting rules and boundaries. “Their dislike for big government is only a catch phrase for unbridled bigotry, the survival of the fittest, freedom to pollute, guns for anyone who wants them, and religion over science,” he said. “They want to take the United States back to the good old days of the Wild West.”
The President said he would like to see a science fiction TV show featuring the Tea Party running the country. It would enact people’s lives without public education, municipal police and fire protection, social security, Medicare and Medicaid, environmental protection, etc. People’s suffering would be contrasted with the robber barons living high off the hog, he suggested.
“In recent decades our country has waged a war on poverty, a war on discrimination, and a war on inadequate education. I now declare a war on intolerance and greed. I will be sending to Congress legislation to create jobs for every unemployed American,” announced the President.
When asked how he planned to get House Republicans to go along with funding such a massive jobs program, Obama said it was time to draw a line in the sand. “Let the American people see who is for them and who is against them,” he insisted. If every goose-stepping Republican votes against this bill then voters will have the opportunity to throw the bastards out.”
Republican reaction to the President’s comments was uniformly critical. “The President obviously doesn’t believe in evolution because he’s still in the African jungle,” noted presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann. “I can’t imagine any president who is a U.S. citizen acting that way. I pray he gets his green card right away,” noted Governor Rick Perry. “You don’t get Republican support by insulting us,” advised Senator John Boehner, “particularly if our differences are black and white.”
Unmoved by Republican critics, Obama said he would forge ahead to do what’s best for the country. He emphasized that compromise was a waste of time as long as Republicans placed a junior high school ideology over the welfare of the vast majority of Americans. The battle, he said, has just begun.
The President stated, in no uncertain terms, that the Republican Party is only interested in grabbing power so they can turn back the clock on the American way of life. “The Republican agenda is to allow the rich to get richer, the poor to stay where they are, and the middle class to fend for themselves as best they can,” he argued.
Obama characterized the Tea Party as a gaggle of uneducated adolescents who want the right to do whatever they please without a parent or government setting rules and boundaries. “Their dislike for big government is only a catch phrase for unbridled bigotry, the survival of the fittest, freedom to pollute, guns for anyone who wants them, and religion over science,” he said. “They want to take the United States back to the good old days of the Wild West.”
The President said he would like to see a science fiction TV show featuring the Tea Party running the country. It would enact people’s lives without public education, municipal police and fire protection, social security, Medicare and Medicaid, environmental protection, etc. People’s suffering would be contrasted with the robber barons living high off the hog, he suggested.
“In recent decades our country has waged a war on poverty, a war on discrimination, and a war on inadequate education. I now declare a war on intolerance and greed. I will be sending to Congress legislation to create jobs for every unemployed American,” announced the President.
When asked how he planned to get House Republicans to go along with funding such a massive jobs program, Obama said it was time to draw a line in the sand. “Let the American people see who is for them and who is against them,” he insisted. If every goose-stepping Republican votes against this bill then voters will have the opportunity to throw the bastards out.”
Republican reaction to the President’s comments was uniformly critical. “The President obviously doesn’t believe in evolution because he’s still in the African jungle,” noted presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann. “I can’t imagine any president who is a U.S. citizen acting that way. I pray he gets his green card right away,” noted Governor Rick Perry. “You don’t get Republican support by insulting us,” advised Senator John Boehner, “particularly if our differences are black and white.”
Unmoved by Republican critics, Obama said he would forge ahead to do what’s best for the country. He emphasized that compromise was a waste of time as long as Republicans placed a junior high school ideology over the welfare of the vast majority of Americans. The battle, he said, has just begun.
