Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Administration Official Driven From Office
Washington DC - Department of Transportation
Secretary Ray LaHood was taken to task by the Obama Administration for disparaging remarks he made appearing in an article in the National Inquirer. LaHood criticized members of the Cabinet and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in particular for their opposition to wide back car seats, an icon, he said, for young virile Americans.
He accused President Obama for taking a back seat on this issue and Cabinet members for only viewing cars as a means for getting from point A to point B. “Some folks want to go all the way in their vehicles,” he told the Inquirer. “Hillary is in denial about her back seat exploits with Bill before they were married.”
“Where are young couples supposed to go on a Saturday night if they can’t afford an apartment in this dismal economy?” LaHood questioned. “There’s only so much you can do in a movie theater and you need to be a contortionist to do anything in a subcompact.”
LaHood had fond memories of his dates in the back seat of his 1959 Chevrolet Impala. “We all would go to the local drive-in movie where most cars appeared to have no passengers,” he recalled. “That’s where I went on the first date with the woman whom I later married. When the car died the back seat became a love seat in our first apartment.”
LaHood grew up in London as Ray LaBonnet where he developed a keen interest in the backbench in Parliament and was later fascinated by the multi-uses of the wide bench car seats common at the time. His friends kidded him about changing his name to LaHood because of his love for large American cars and he actually did so when he emigrated to the U.S.
LaHood referred to the Obama Administration as “a bunch of front seat liberals who steer clear of back seat driving issues. They don’t know about the clutch. They don’t know a ball joint from a tail pipe,” he argued.
After reading the article, President Obama hauled the Secretary of Transportation to his limousine where he was admonished for having too much idle time on his hands and for blowing his own horn. A chastised LaHood admitted he was seduced by the National Inquirer’s female reporter who suggested the back seat image could take the place of the one for the Appalachian Trail. “To say you were doing business in the back seat of your car is a lot more believable to saying you were hiking the Appalachian Trail,” mused LaHood.
“I offered to keep my eyes on the road, my head under the hood, and my feet planted firmly on the floorboards from now on,” he told the press. “But the president in his infinite wisdom chose to give me the boot back to England, truncating my stay in the U.S.”
He accused President Obama for taking a back seat on this issue and Cabinet members for only viewing cars as a means for getting from point A to point B. “Some folks want to go all the way in their vehicles,” he told the Inquirer. “Hillary is in denial about her back seat exploits with Bill before they were married.”
“Where are young couples supposed to go on a Saturday night if they can’t afford an apartment in this dismal economy?” LaHood questioned. “There’s only so much you can do in a movie theater and you need to be a contortionist to do anything in a subcompact.”
LaHood had fond memories of his dates in the back seat of his 1959 Chevrolet Impala. “We all would go to the local drive-in movie where most cars appeared to have no passengers,” he recalled. “That’s where I went on the first date with the woman whom I later married. When the car died the back seat became a love seat in our first apartment.”
LaHood grew up in London as Ray LaBonnet where he developed a keen interest in the backbench in Parliament and was later fascinated by the multi-uses of the wide bench car seats common at the time. His friends kidded him about changing his name to LaHood because of his love for large American cars and he actually did so when he emigrated to the U.S.
LaHood referred to the Obama Administration as “a bunch of front seat liberals who steer clear of back seat driving issues. They don’t know about the clutch. They don’t know a ball joint from a tail pipe,” he argued.
After reading the article, President Obama hauled the Secretary of Transportation to his limousine where he was admonished for having too much idle time on his hands and for blowing his own horn. A chastised LaHood admitted he was seduced by the National Inquirer’s female reporter who suggested the back seat image could take the place of the one for the Appalachian Trail. “To say you were doing business in the back seat of your car is a lot more believable to saying you were hiking the Appalachian Trail,” mused LaHood.
“I offered to keep my eyes on the road, my head under the hood, and my feet planted firmly on the floorboards from now on,” he told the press. “But the president in his infinite wisdom chose to give me the boot back to England, truncating my stay in the U.S.”
