Monday, August 03, 2009
Palin Clicks Her Heels On The Yellow Brick Road
FAIRBANKS, ALASKA - Former Alaska Governor and vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin announced she is moving to Kansas with all her children to reopen the Women’s Health Care Services, a controversial abortion center recently closed after the assassination of its doctor, George R. Tiller.
Palin would not comment about whether her husband Todd would be joining her or whether the couple will be seeking a formal separation.
“Dr. Tiller helped me when I was unmarried and pregnant and reopening the clinic is the least I can do in his memory,” she said. “Abortion is a private matter between a woman and her doctor and those Right to Life fanatics who supported me in the past can go right to hell.”
Palin said she hoped her celebrity and her about-face on the abortion issue would help attract a doctor who would be willing to risk his or her life in the land of Oz. “The abortion foes are like the scarecrow without a brain, Catholic priests like the tin man without a heart, and Kansas doctors like the lion without courage,” she proclaimed.
“I’ll be the Wicked Witch of the West if that’s what it takes to provide abortion services to women like me who want to take charge of their lives,” she said.
Right to Life organizations and Evangelical Christians nation-wide were stunned by Palin’s announcement. “We never know what she might do next,” commented Jerry Falwell, “but we love her just the same.”
Palin says her only regrets will be missing bear hunting and waving to her Russian friends from the Seaward Peninsula of Alaska. “I don’t know what they shoot in Kansas besides abortion doctors but I suspect there are lots of turkeys running around.”
“The problem with ending a pregnancy in this country is that the word ‘abortion’ got a bad rap,” Palin pointed out. “Let’s face it, eight years of George W. Bush, the McCain-Palin ticket, and the Republican Party today are all abortions. This country would have been better off if some of the folks in my party had never have been born,” she argued.
Speculation abounds as to why Palin has chosen this direction in her political life. Does she have her eye on a Kansas senate seat, the governorship, or a presidential run as a moderate Republican? Palin insists her only interests at this time are women’s issues and her own family.
“A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket, and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can win,” Palin explains. “And I'm doing that -- keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities, smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it's time to pass the ball for victory.
“I ask myself all the time,” she adds, “what would Dorothy have done?”
Palin would not comment about whether her husband Todd would be joining her or whether the couple will be seeking a formal separation.
“Dr. Tiller helped me when I was unmarried and pregnant and reopening the clinic is the least I can do in his memory,” she said. “Abortion is a private matter between a woman and her doctor and those Right to Life fanatics who supported me in the past can go right to hell.”
Palin said she hoped her celebrity and her about-face on the abortion issue would help attract a doctor who would be willing to risk his or her life in the land of Oz. “The abortion foes are like the scarecrow without a brain, Catholic priests like the tin man without a heart, and Kansas doctors like the lion without courage,” she proclaimed.
“I’ll be the Wicked Witch of the West if that’s what it takes to provide abortion services to women like me who want to take charge of their lives,” she said.
Right to Life organizations and Evangelical Christians nation-wide were stunned by Palin’s announcement. “We never know what she might do next,” commented Jerry Falwell, “but we love her just the same.”
Palin says her only regrets will be missing bear hunting and waving to her Russian friends from the Seaward Peninsula of Alaska. “I don’t know what they shoot in Kansas besides abortion doctors but I suspect there are lots of turkeys running around.”
“The problem with ending a pregnancy in this country is that the word ‘abortion’ got a bad rap,” Palin pointed out. “Let’s face it, eight years of George W. Bush, the McCain-Palin ticket, and the Republican Party today are all abortions. This country would have been better off if some of the folks in my party had never have been born,” she argued.
Speculation abounds as to why Palin has chosen this direction in her political life. Does she have her eye on a Kansas senate seat, the governorship, or a presidential run as a moderate Republican? Palin insists her only interests at this time are women’s issues and her own family.
“A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket, and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can win,” Palin explains. “And I'm doing that -- keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities, smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it's time to pass the ball for victory.
“I ask myself all the time,” she adds, “what would Dorothy have done?”
