Tuesday, October 14, 2008
McCain Looks To Custer For His Own Last Stand
WASHINGTON, October 14 - As his polling numbers spiraled downward, presidential candidate John McCain turned to an increasing number of audacious acts to turn his campaign around. While his running mate Sarah Palin continued to accuse rival Barak Omaba of being a terrorist, black muslim, and a threat to white America, McCain speeches focused on his visions for an unorthodox presidency.
At a rally in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida McCain promised he would propose a constitutional amendment to make Israel the 51st state if elected. "We will rename it Juneau after my favorite city in Alaska and I will have my vice-president tell Hamas and the PLO to go fly a kike, I mean kite." he vowed. "They won't dare mess with my Sarah."
At a meeting with business leaders in Ohio McCain promised to issue an executive order barring union workers from wearing union buttons and discussing union membership in the workplace. "Places of employment should be labor neutral," he said. "We can't have left wing organizers polluting the minds of workers earning a fair and just minimum wage."
In a speech given at a meeting of the Daughters of the American Revolution, McCain noted his preference for the next Supreme Court justice to be a direct descendant of General George A. Custer. "America needs to become more American," he told his enthusiastic audience. "We can't let people with foreign sounding names pollute our judiciary."
Answering a question on winning the Iraq War at a town hall style meeting in Mississippi, McCain pledged not to leave Iraq until the U.S. has a 100-year lease to all its oil, capped at $50 a barrel. "Let's face it. This war is all about oil and not about weapons of mass destruction or democracy," he admitted. "When the Iraqis cry 'Uncle Sam' that's when we remove our troops."
In a complete reversal, McCain revamped his health care proposal to now provide every American with medical vouchers good for one office visit, one out-patient service, and one surgical procedure annually. These vouchers can be redeemed with any participating doctor or hospital, worth points to the medical provider toward home appliances and vacations at selected military bases.
"For 100 points a doctor could obtain a new waffle maker for his wife; for 1,000 points a hospital administrator could take his entire family on a week's vacation at Guantanamo Bay," he explained.
McCain's most daring plan is to hold a national lottery for the position of Special Assistant to the President. Each Special Assistant would serve for one, 24-hour period allowing 1,448 Americans to participate over the course of four years. "These special assistants will have full access and full input into all my decision making," McCain proclaimed. "Just imagine the variety of advice I will need to consider."
While McCain's new proposals made headlines around the country and rejuvenated his ailing campaign, Palin continued to serve as McCain's attack dog on the stump.
"What do American soldiers do to terrorists?" she questioned at a rally in South Carolina. "Kill!" shouted the audience. "What do abortion doctors do to babies?" "Kill!" came the reply. "What do good, decent Americans do when someone wants to reverse all the progress Republicans have made during the past eight years?" "Kill, kill, kill!" roared her supporters.
At a rally in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida McCain promised he would propose a constitutional amendment to make Israel the 51st state if elected. "We will rename it Juneau after my favorite city in Alaska and I will have my vice-president tell Hamas and the PLO to go fly a kike, I mean kite." he vowed. "They won't dare mess with my Sarah."
At a meeting with business leaders in Ohio McCain promised to issue an executive order barring union workers from wearing union buttons and discussing union membership in the workplace. "Places of employment should be labor neutral," he said. "We can't have left wing organizers polluting the minds of workers earning a fair and just minimum wage."
In a speech given at a meeting of the Daughters of the American Revolution, McCain noted his preference for the next Supreme Court justice to be a direct descendant of General George A. Custer. "America needs to become more American," he told his enthusiastic audience. "We can't let people with foreign sounding names pollute our judiciary."
Answering a question on winning the Iraq War at a town hall style meeting in Mississippi, McCain pledged not to leave Iraq until the U.S. has a 100-year lease to all its oil, capped at $50 a barrel. "Let's face it. This war is all about oil and not about weapons of mass destruction or democracy," he admitted. "When the Iraqis cry 'Uncle Sam' that's when we remove our troops."
In a complete reversal, McCain revamped his health care proposal to now provide every American with medical vouchers good for one office visit, one out-patient service, and one surgical procedure annually. These vouchers can be redeemed with any participating doctor or hospital, worth points to the medical provider toward home appliances and vacations at selected military bases.
"For 100 points a doctor could obtain a new waffle maker for his wife; for 1,000 points a hospital administrator could take his entire family on a week's vacation at Guantanamo Bay," he explained.
McCain's most daring plan is to hold a national lottery for the position of Special Assistant to the President. Each Special Assistant would serve for one, 24-hour period allowing 1,448 Americans to participate over the course of four years. "These special assistants will have full access and full input into all my decision making," McCain proclaimed. "Just imagine the variety of advice I will need to consider."
While McCain's new proposals made headlines around the country and rejuvenated his ailing campaign, Palin continued to serve as McCain's attack dog on the stump.
"What do American soldiers do to terrorists?" she questioned at a rally in South Carolina. "Kill!" shouted the audience. "What do abortion doctors do to babies?" "Kill!" came the reply. "What do good, decent Americans do when someone wants to reverse all the progress Republicans have made during the past eight years?" "Kill, kill, kill!" roared her supporters.
