Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Displeased Conservative Republicans Consider Third Party
WASHINGTON, October 10 - Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on Fertility and spokesman for the Republican Rednecks, labeled a conservative "stink-tank" by the National Republican Committee, has threatened to organize a new political party if either Rudolph Giuliani or Mitt Romney receive the party's presidential nomination.
Dobson refers to the two leading Republican contenders as "tweedle-me and tweedle-dumb" because, he says, they have been flip-flopping on tough conservative issues. "If they continue to waffle they will end up with egg on their faces," he warns.
Dobson, who earned his doctorate at Blue Ball Bible College in the heart of Pennsylvania's Amish country, and who led the drive to remove the final letter "s" from both the town's and college's name, has been a long standing conservative crusader in the fetus civil rights movement. "We gave women the vote, negroes the vote, and 18-year-olds the vote. The time has come to give fetuses the vote," Dobson proclaims .
If he decides to run as a third-party candidate, Dobson will propose an anti-discrimination bill for fetuses covering housing, employment, and marriage. "When homos are demanding the right to marry while fetuses don't even have the right to be born, something is terribly wrong in our society," he says.
If elected President, Dobson promises to institute gay-bashing, illegal immigrant-bashing, and liberal Democrat-bashing as national holidays. He will also call for the unequivocal support for the State of Israel. "The Bible says it's OK to 'nuke thy neighbors' if they threaten your existence," Dobson points out. "We should encourage the Israelis to consider a final solution to the Arab problem."
Dobson's organization, Focus on Fertility, has been a leader for a woman's right to be barefoot, pregnant, and kitchen-bound. The organization advertises free self-help kits for women in Wal-Mart stores around the country that include a rubber replica fetus, a babydoll nightie, the cookbook "101 Recipes With Hamburg Helper," and a Stepford Wives DVD. The organization has received millions of dollars in donations from white, Christian, Republican men.
The Republican Rednecks, according to Dobson, are keeping a close eye on the presidential primaries and may nominate a James Dobson-David Duke ticket for a neo-conservative Clean Sheets Party. "A white sheet represents ethnic purity, honesty, and cleanliness," Dobson explains. And that's why, he says, Duke, who has long-standing ties to white sheets, would be the ideal running mate.
A spokesman for Duke said the former triple-K political activist had no comment as he was busy preparing for an historic Crusades-Denying Conference at the Vatican.
Dobson refers to the two leading Republican contenders as "tweedle-me and tweedle-dumb" because, he says, they have been flip-flopping on tough conservative issues. "If they continue to waffle they will end up with egg on their faces," he warns.
Dobson, who earned his doctorate at Blue Ball Bible College in the heart of Pennsylvania's Amish country, and who led the drive to remove the final letter "s" from both the town's and college's name, has been a long standing conservative crusader in the fetus civil rights movement. "We gave women the vote, negroes the vote, and 18-year-olds the vote. The time has come to give fetuses the vote," Dobson proclaims .
If he decides to run as a third-party candidate, Dobson will propose an anti-discrimination bill for fetuses covering housing, employment, and marriage. "When homos are demanding the right to marry while fetuses don't even have the right to be born, something is terribly wrong in our society," he says.
If elected President, Dobson promises to institute gay-bashing, illegal immigrant-bashing, and liberal Democrat-bashing as national holidays. He will also call for the unequivocal support for the State of Israel. "The Bible says it's OK to 'nuke thy neighbors' if they threaten your existence," Dobson points out. "We should encourage the Israelis to consider a final solution to the Arab problem."
Dobson's organization, Focus on Fertility, has been a leader for a woman's right to be barefoot, pregnant, and kitchen-bound. The organization advertises free self-help kits for women in Wal-Mart stores around the country that include a rubber replica fetus, a babydoll nightie, the cookbook "101 Recipes With Hamburg Helper," and a Stepford Wives DVD. The organization has received millions of dollars in donations from white, Christian, Republican men.
The Republican Rednecks, according to Dobson, are keeping a close eye on the presidential primaries and may nominate a James Dobson-David Duke ticket for a neo-conservative Clean Sheets Party. "A white sheet represents ethnic purity, honesty, and cleanliness," Dobson explains. And that's why, he says, Duke, who has long-standing ties to white sheets, would be the ideal running mate.
A spokesman for Duke said the former triple-K political activist had no comment as he was busy preparing for an historic Crusades-Denying Conference at the Vatican.
