Sunday, July 15, 2007
Conference To Examine Legitimacy of U.S. Constitution
WASHINGTON, July 15 - The Bush Administration announced an international conference on the U.S. Constitution scheduled for the Labor Day weekend in Philadelphia. Suggesting that this historic document may be a forgery and may have never been written by the so-called "founding fathers," the Bush team will lead discussions and inquiries to determine its authenticity.
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice claims the original Constitution may have called for a constitutional monarchy only to be subverted by liberal, left wing politicians influenced by the writings of Karl Marx. She admits being highly critical of the document that is the basis for American law and suggests the Constitution is the cause for the deep, political divisions within the country.
The Conference keynote speaker will be Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. The topic of his talk with be The American Jewdiciary. Invitees include Russian President Vladimir Putin, , Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, and Korean General Secretary Kim Jong-il. In addition, Constitutional scholars Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter will represent U.S. interests. "These highly respected people will objectively consider the authenticity of the U.S. Constitution as we know it today," Rice says. "They are not Constitution deniers," she insists.
Vice-President Dick Cheney in an interview with Fox News said if the conference determines that the Constitution is a fraud it will allow the President broader powers and an indefinite term of office. "The way I see it," he told Fox News, "is the original Constitutional Convention saw the need for a strong, compassionate conservative commander to keep order in a neophyte country. And the original Bill of Rights had to do with the rights of the country's leaders, not the general public."
President George Bush responding to attacks from Constitutional scholars and members of the federal judiciary said Americans should give the conference participants a chance to consider all the evidence before passing judgment. "I don't deny that we have a Constitution, I just want to know the true powers of the executive branch," he pointed out. "Am I President Bush, King George, or just plain good-ole-boy 'dubya?' Americans need to know."
Supreme Court Justices Clarence Thomas and Antonin Scalia have long argued that the U.S. Constitution doesn't make any sense. "The country needs to protect its leaders and preserve our way of life prior to the Civil War," Thomas proclaimed on Meet the Press. Scalia, who has been known to voice his preference for trashing the Constitution and starting all over again, called the conference "Benedict Arnold's revenge."
Both Democratic and Republican Presidential candidates have, so far, been reluctant to comment on the conference, taking a wait and see attitude. Spokesmen for the candidates said they would like to first see the polling numbers before taking a position on the issue. Congress is expected to pass a non-binding resolution expressing concern about the future of the country.
"Once we clear up the status of the Constitution we can take a closer look at establishing a national religion, allowing citizens to own automatic weapons, permitting the President to authorize searches and seizures and suspend habeas corpus when necessary, and supporting a vigorous use of the death penalty," Rice said. "There was good reason for calling it the Bill of Rights and not the Bill of Lefts," she added.
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice claims the original Constitution may have called for a constitutional monarchy only to be subverted by liberal, left wing politicians influenced by the writings of Karl Marx. She admits being highly critical of the document that is the basis for American law and suggests the Constitution is the cause for the deep, political divisions within the country.
The Conference keynote speaker will be Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. The topic of his talk with be The American Jewdiciary. Invitees include Russian President Vladimir Putin, , Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, and Korean General Secretary Kim Jong-il. In addition, Constitutional scholars Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter will represent U.S. interests. "These highly respected people will objectively consider the authenticity of the U.S. Constitution as we know it today," Rice says. "They are not Constitution deniers," she insists.
Vice-President Dick Cheney in an interview with Fox News said if the conference determines that the Constitution is a fraud it will allow the President broader powers and an indefinite term of office. "The way I see it," he told Fox News, "is the original Constitutional Convention saw the need for a strong, compassionate conservative commander to keep order in a neophyte country. And the original Bill of Rights had to do with the rights of the country's leaders, not the general public."
President George Bush responding to attacks from Constitutional scholars and members of the federal judiciary said Americans should give the conference participants a chance to consider all the evidence before passing judgment. "I don't deny that we have a Constitution, I just want to know the true powers of the executive branch," he pointed out. "Am I President Bush, King George, or just plain good-ole-boy 'dubya?' Americans need to know."
Supreme Court Justices Clarence Thomas and Antonin Scalia have long argued that the U.S. Constitution doesn't make any sense. "The country needs to protect its leaders and preserve our way of life prior to the Civil War," Thomas proclaimed on Meet the Press. Scalia, who has been known to voice his preference for trashing the Constitution and starting all over again, called the conference "Benedict Arnold's revenge."
Both Democratic and Republican Presidential candidates have, so far, been reluctant to comment on the conference, taking a wait and see attitude. Spokesmen for the candidates said they would like to first see the polling numbers before taking a position on the issue. Congress is expected to pass a non-binding resolution expressing concern about the future of the country.
"Once we clear up the status of the Constitution we can take a closer look at establishing a national religion, allowing citizens to own automatic weapons, permitting the President to authorize searches and seizures and suspend habeas corpus when necessary, and supporting a vigorous use of the death penalty," Rice said. "There was good reason for calling it the Bill of Rights and not the Bill of Lefts," she added.
