Monday, June 12, 2006
Same Sex Affection Ban Proposed
WASHINGTON, June 12 -Tennessee Senator Bill Frist introduced a constitutional amendment that would allow public displays of affection only between a man and a woman. Frist said it was time to put an end to visible signs of immorality that are distasteful to many and could infect young, impressionable minds.
"As a physician I can predict that children who see men showing affection to men or women showing affection to women will be encouraged to adopt a homosexual lifestyle," Frist said. "Let us declare a war on inappropriate sexual behavior," he announced in the Senate chamber.
Frist described "displays of affection" to include hand holding, hugging, and kissing on any part of the body above the shoulders. He proposed that States organize volunteer "morality police" who would be authorized to shave the heads of any offending parties.
South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham suggested an addition to the constitutional amendment that would allow public displays of affection only between men and women of the same race. While there is little anyone can do about Oreo Cookies and the co-mingling of vanilla and chocolate ice cream, he pointed out, the nation's laws could keep interracial couples from publicly displaying any form of intimacy.
South Dakota Senator John Thune proposed making all contact sports co-ed. "Masochistic football players and homosexual viewers may be experiencing sexual pleasure from the rough and tumble," Thune warned. "It seems to me it would be more natural to have men and women piling on top of each other on a muddy field," he said.
President Bush in an address to the nation called upon religious leaders to condemn unnatural acts in public view. He explained that most white, Christian Americans would rather see a U.S. Marine kill a suspected terrorist than two men walking down the street holding hands. "We need to send the right messages to our young people who will be our future leaders," Bush said.
Focus on the Family Director Dr. James Dobson offered to organize a nation-wide volunteer police force to defend the Constitution if the amendment is passed. "Cutting hair may not be an effective deterrent," he said. "We may have to resort to castration and genital mutilation before we see any impact."
The loudest opposition to the amendment came from Italian-American organizations. "If men can't hug and kiss each other, how will organized business partners know whom they can trust?" questioned a spokesman for the Italian Brotherhood of Waste Disposal Inc. "All our brothers were made in America and affection between men is a sign of respect" he pointed out.
Despite the opposition, Frist was optimistic the amendment would succeed. "And at that time we will make Heterosexual Pride Day a national holiday," he proclaimed.
"As a physician I can predict that children who see men showing affection to men or women showing affection to women will be encouraged to adopt a homosexual lifestyle," Frist said. "Let us declare a war on inappropriate sexual behavior," he announced in the Senate chamber.
Frist described "displays of affection" to include hand holding, hugging, and kissing on any part of the body above the shoulders. He proposed that States organize volunteer "morality police" who would be authorized to shave the heads of any offending parties.
South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham suggested an addition to the constitutional amendment that would allow public displays of affection only between men and women of the same race. While there is little anyone can do about Oreo Cookies and the co-mingling of vanilla and chocolate ice cream, he pointed out, the nation's laws could keep interracial couples from publicly displaying any form of intimacy.
South Dakota Senator John Thune proposed making all contact sports co-ed. "Masochistic football players and homosexual viewers may be experiencing sexual pleasure from the rough and tumble," Thune warned. "It seems to me it would be more natural to have men and women piling on top of each other on a muddy field," he said.
President Bush in an address to the nation called upon religious leaders to condemn unnatural acts in public view. He explained that most white, Christian Americans would rather see a U.S. Marine kill a suspected terrorist than two men walking down the street holding hands. "We need to send the right messages to our young people who will be our future leaders," Bush said.
Focus on the Family Director Dr. James Dobson offered to organize a nation-wide volunteer police force to defend the Constitution if the amendment is passed. "Cutting hair may not be an effective deterrent," he said. "We may have to resort to castration and genital mutilation before we see any impact."
The loudest opposition to the amendment came from Italian-American organizations. "If men can't hug and kiss each other, how will organized business partners know whom they can trust?" questioned a spokesman for the Italian Brotherhood of Waste Disposal Inc. "All our brothers were made in America and affection between men is a sign of respect" he pointed out.
Despite the opposition, Frist was optimistic the amendment would succeed. "And at that time we will make Heterosexual Pride Day a national holiday," he proclaimed.
