Thursday, February 23, 2006
Government Buildings, Businesses Up For Grabs In U.S.
WASHINGTON, Feb. 24 - While President George W. Bush claimed he knew nothing about the sale of U.S. port facilities to the United Arab Emirates prior to his administration's approval of the deal, he did admit negotiations were taking place with Saudi Arabia regarding the sale of the White House and other Washington landmarks to help pay for the war in Iraq and the tax cut to American billionaires.
The pending sale will reportedly be a barter arrangement, with the Saudis guaranteeing so many billions of gallons of oil over an extended period and leasing the White House and other facilities back to the American government. Although the president and members of the administration would not comment on this arrangement, it is believed that aside from a few minor physical and operational changes, everything in the nation's capital will remain the same more or less.
According to a Saudi source who requested anonymity, the Saudis would build a small, unobtrusive mosque in the Rose Garden and place speakers at the top of the Washington Monument to call all Muslims to prayer. Enemies of Islam, including Jews and "certain registered Democrats" would be excluded from these facilities, although it was unclear exactly how an enemies list would be compiled. Former members of the Nixon Administration would be consulted on this matter, said the source.
The only other facility under consideration by the Saudis is the Pentagon. The Saudis reportedly want some control of its operations and the ability to replace a portion of the staff, but U.S. negotiators are attempting a compromise. "We'll let them have a say in the management of the Army and Navy but I'll be damned if we let then have a sheik on the Joint Chiefs," commented one negotiator who said he couldn't speak on the record until a final deal was hammered out.
The search for new investments, especially in the U.S., by oil-rich nations has also focused on the private sector. Aside from U.S. ports, airlines in desperate need of hard cash have become an attractive target. Iran reportedly is making overtures to United Airlines to purchase a portion of its fleet to run a subsidiary called Magic Carpet Air.
According to a source at United, the Iranian-United partnership would subsidize daily flights to all Muslim countries, require men and women to sit on opposite sides of the plane, remove first class seating to create a "Prayer in the Air" place of worship, embroider the headrests with a Mohammed likeness, ban all alcohol from the flights, and broadcast speeches by highly respected imams throughout the passenger compartments calling for the destruction of Israel.
"With just a few minor adjustments Magic Carpet Air would operate almost the same as United," said an Iranian spokesman. "Most people would never know the difference," he pointed out.
This flurry of international economic activity has caused a furor in Congress. Both Republicans and Democrats have charged the Bush Administration with selling out our national heritage and making the U.S. an easier target for terrorists. Senator Orin Hatch said he could see selling National Public Radio or the National Endowment For The Arts to a Muslim country, but selling the White House for oil is "the last straw."
"We might as well sell the Washington and Lincoln Memorials while we're at it," Hatch said sarcastically. "Can't do it," replied White House Spokesman Scott McClellan. "We already sold them to Venezuela two years ago," he explained.
The pending sale will reportedly be a barter arrangement, with the Saudis guaranteeing so many billions of gallons of oil over an extended period and leasing the White House and other facilities back to the American government. Although the president and members of the administration would not comment on this arrangement, it is believed that aside from a few minor physical and operational changes, everything in the nation's capital will remain the same more or less.
According to a Saudi source who requested anonymity, the Saudis would build a small, unobtrusive mosque in the Rose Garden and place speakers at the top of the Washington Monument to call all Muslims to prayer. Enemies of Islam, including Jews and "certain registered Democrats" would be excluded from these facilities, although it was unclear exactly how an enemies list would be compiled. Former members of the Nixon Administration would be consulted on this matter, said the source.
The only other facility under consideration by the Saudis is the Pentagon. The Saudis reportedly want some control of its operations and the ability to replace a portion of the staff, but U.S. negotiators are attempting a compromise. "We'll let them have a say in the management of the Army and Navy but I'll be damned if we let then have a sheik on the Joint Chiefs," commented one negotiator who said he couldn't speak on the record until a final deal was hammered out.
The search for new investments, especially in the U.S., by oil-rich nations has also focused on the private sector. Aside from U.S. ports, airlines in desperate need of hard cash have become an attractive target. Iran reportedly is making overtures to United Airlines to purchase a portion of its fleet to run a subsidiary called Magic Carpet Air.
According to a source at United, the Iranian-United partnership would subsidize daily flights to all Muslim countries, require men and women to sit on opposite sides of the plane, remove first class seating to create a "Prayer in the Air" place of worship, embroider the headrests with a Mohammed likeness, ban all alcohol from the flights, and broadcast speeches by highly respected imams throughout the passenger compartments calling for the destruction of Israel.
"With just a few minor adjustments Magic Carpet Air would operate almost the same as United," said an Iranian spokesman. "Most people would never know the difference," he pointed out.
This flurry of international economic activity has caused a furor in Congress. Both Republicans and Democrats have charged the Bush Administration with selling out our national heritage and making the U.S. an easier target for terrorists. Senator Orin Hatch said he could see selling National Public Radio or the National Endowment For The Arts to a Muslim country, but selling the White House for oil is "the last straw."
"We might as well sell the Washington and Lincoln Memorials while we're at it," Hatch said sarcastically. "Can't do it," replied White House Spokesman Scott McClellan. "We already sold them to Venezuela two years ago," he explained.
