Tuesday, April 07, 2009
States Compete In Notoriety Contest
WASHINGTON, April 7 - A heated three-state competition for a license plate motto may end up in Federal court. Illinois, Louisiana and New Jersey are all vying for the words "Most Corrupt State" to be hammered into metal by State prisoners on all new license plates issued this year.
State officials say the publicity surrounding these eye-catching plates will help with tourism promotion during hard economic times. "There is no such thing as bad publicity," insists former Newark Mayor Sharpe James who is serving time on a bribery scandal. "New Jersey will build a Hall of Shame that could attract thousands of tourists to see booking photos of former officials like Gerardo Fernandez who was recently charged with lying under oath," he says.
"As a matter of fact," James points out, "Fernandez is the fourth disgraced city official in 2008. And what about our former Governor James McGreevey who was forced to resign in a gay sex scandal. Tell me, what other State can top that record?"
"Not so fast," responded Dorothy Cole, Chicago Office of Tourism Director. "We have former Governor Rod Blagojevich just indicted on 18 counts of political corruption and three former governors already in the slammer," she gleefully announced. "And to put icing on the cake we can boast 1,000 elected officials who have been convicted of corruption since the 1970s. It's in our blood," Cole insisted.
"New Jersey and Illinois are all newcomers to political hanky-panky," claims former Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson who gave a new meaning to "cold cash" when authorities uncovered bundles of bills supplied by an FBI sting operation stored in his freezer. "Louisiana was number one between 1997 and 2007 with 326 federal corruption convictions," he boasts. "And our Jim Brown became the third consecutive insurance commissioner to be tossed in the cooler."
Jefferson waxes poetic reminiscing Louisiana's colorful political history. It began with the late Huey Long who ruthlessly and flamboyantly ruled the State as governor and U.S. Senator before he was assassinated, and culminated with former governor Edwin Edwards who is currently serving time for collecting $400,000 in exchange for a casino license. "If any State has earned the motto 'Most Corrupt' Louisiana has it by a long shot," says Jefferson.
The three States are already positioning themselves for the title. Rutgers University opened an Institute of Corruption Studies in Newark. The home of "ballot stuffing" Mayor Richard Daley has bannered the State's Home Page with the slogan "Shady Politics Is The Illinois Way." And real estate developers in New Orleans are selling swamp land on the Internet. "Come on down, it's 105 degrees here!" they exclaim.
"It's just like a competition for the Olympics," mused Michael Coppola who was recently indicted on racketeering charges involving the International Longshoreman's Association Newark Local. But New Jersey has the edge, he insisted. "We have toxic dumps that were never cleaned despite federal funding, more no-show jobs than any other State, and we are a mecca for counterfeit driver's licenses. How can we lose?"
"We can't," confides former New Jersey State Senator Joseph Coniglio who has been charged with extortion. "We have the federal judge in our back pocket."
State officials say the publicity surrounding these eye-catching plates will help with tourism promotion during hard economic times. "There is no such thing as bad publicity," insists former Newark Mayor Sharpe James who is serving time on a bribery scandal. "New Jersey will build a Hall of Shame that could attract thousands of tourists to see booking photos of former officials like Gerardo Fernandez who was recently charged with lying under oath," he says.
"As a matter of fact," James points out, "Fernandez is the fourth disgraced city official in 2008. And what about our former Governor James McGreevey who was forced to resign in a gay sex scandal. Tell me, what other State can top that record?"
"Not so fast," responded Dorothy Cole, Chicago Office of Tourism Director. "We have former Governor Rod Blagojevich just indicted on 18 counts of political corruption and three former governors already in the slammer," she gleefully announced. "And to put icing on the cake we can boast 1,000 elected officials who have been convicted of corruption since the 1970s. It's in our blood," Cole insisted.
"New Jersey and Illinois are all newcomers to political hanky-panky," claims former Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson who gave a new meaning to "cold cash" when authorities uncovered bundles of bills supplied by an FBI sting operation stored in his freezer. "Louisiana was number one between 1997 and 2007 with 326 federal corruption convictions," he boasts. "And our Jim Brown became the third consecutive insurance commissioner to be tossed in the cooler."
Jefferson waxes poetic reminiscing Louisiana's colorful political history. It began with the late Huey Long who ruthlessly and flamboyantly ruled the State as governor and U.S. Senator before he was assassinated, and culminated with former governor Edwin Edwards who is currently serving time for collecting $400,000 in exchange for a casino license. "If any State has earned the motto 'Most Corrupt' Louisiana has it by a long shot," says Jefferson.
The three States are already positioning themselves for the title. Rutgers University opened an Institute of Corruption Studies in Newark. The home of "ballot stuffing" Mayor Richard Daley has bannered the State's Home Page with the slogan "Shady Politics Is The Illinois Way." And real estate developers in New Orleans are selling swamp land on the Internet. "Come on down, it's 105 degrees here!" they exclaim.
"It's just like a competition for the Olympics," mused Michael Coppola who was recently indicted on racketeering charges involving the International Longshoreman's Association Newark Local. But New Jersey has the edge, he insisted. "We have toxic dumps that were never cleaned despite federal funding, more no-show jobs than any other State, and we are a mecca for counterfeit driver's licenses. How can we lose?"
"We can't," confides former New Jersey State Senator Joseph Coniglio who has been charged with extortion. "We have the federal judge in our back pocket."
