Saturday, January 12, 2008

 

Republican Contenders May Opt For TV Deal

WASHINGTON, January 12 - The five leading Republican presidential contenders have been offered a one-year contract to perform weekly on TV's Saturday Night Live. A spokesman for NBC reports all five have expressed interest but chose to wait until after the Republican Convention before making a decision.

Saturday Night Live creator and producer Lorne Michaels says the five are all naturals and would only have to play themselves to capture the satiric nature of the show. "I could never create characters with comic off-the-wall personalities as these men portray," says Michaels. "Although it would be quite a hoot if one of them became president, I would rather see them all in show business."

Each of the Republican candidates was asked by Michaels to imagine a television comedy scene in which they would play the leading role. Michaels says he was surprised and delighted at the breath of their creative imaginations.

Mitt Romney proposed a skit called "All The President's Wives" involving a polygamous president who appoints all his wives to cabinet posts. "When my Secretary of State recommends a particular course of action, I can say 'I'll sleep on it," Romney said.

Rudolph Giuliani suggested mock interviews with people who jumped from the upper floors of the World Trade Center and survived. Although he initially imagined a scene with a president and all his ex-wives in the White House, when told of Romney's idea he said he would not "steal the governor's thunder."

John McCain thought it would be humorous for all five to act as illegal aliens doing menial jobs at the home of a southern senator. "We could pretend to be speaking gibberish Spanish as we clean the toilets and wash the windows," he said. "The Hispanic viewers would get a real kick out of that."

Mike Huckabee said he always wanted to play the SNL Church Lady. "I could easily portray the uptight, smug and pious Enid Strict," he pointed out. "I would interview Rudy and tease him about all his wives, abortion, gay marriage and the Jew in his name."

Fred Thompson admitted he was tired of playing straight roles in movies and on TV. "I'm ready to do some serious comedy in the tradition of the Marx Brothers," he said. "I've identified with Harpo, Groucho, Chico, Gummo and Zeppo ever since I was a kid. Their antics are a lot like our debates."

While Michaels agreed that he could incorporate all their ideas into the show, he said a weekly song and dance number involving all five would be the icing on the cake. "I could picture them doing a Full Monty routine while singing 'I Have Nothing To Hide,'" he said. "That would be a heads up if any of them decide to run again in 2012."

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